Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
