In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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