I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
