Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
