Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
