what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
