i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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