i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
