just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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