so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
