doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
