Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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