we're blogging at a bar
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
