so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
