apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Green mimosas i think yes
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize