i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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