Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You need a sexual gate keeper
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
