No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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