I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
