I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
