I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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