suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
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