Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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