yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
