If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
