Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
