you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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