Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
