she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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