I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
