totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
