my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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