Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You work out of a Hotel?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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