this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
