we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
