at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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