he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
