Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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