wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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