Its about making memories worth repressing
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
