You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
