Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
