Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
