That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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