I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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