the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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