You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
