that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
