not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
