Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
