I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
