My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
