would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
