I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
