community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
