You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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