Quick, to the slutcave!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
