Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
