Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Ketchup is God's man juice
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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