In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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