clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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