My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
