if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
