things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
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I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize