Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
