fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
