from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
